numbermess

The leopard didn’t eat [gestures somewhere] all my face! I am chosen! I am selected!

MTG, standing eyeball-deep in feasted leopard shit, gnashing and tearing away the flaps of flesh the leopard left behind

The Fantastic and the Fouriest

It is not a conclusion or belief in anything. They’re nihilists, Donny.

Feels like we’re gonna need to clone, deputize, and immortalize that goose that chases everyone around asking Who did, motherfucker?

I cannot correctly say my kids’ names when I’m stressed out in a hurry. I just end up saying both of their names. Eventually I will be right.

Your Honor, may I approach the bench and slam my three fingers of Cutty

Now this place sucks even more than it did before! God damn this whole thing is stupid.

Now this place sucks even more than it did before! God damn this whole thing is stupid.

I remember even smoking in cars and using their ashtrays. Filling them up with butts and scooting them around or compacting the ash to make room for “just one more” because I “didn’t have the time” to dump it out into a parking lot yet. I spent a long time not thinking that cigarette trash was garbage. It just seemed like it was a necessary part of daily life and that whatever was done in support of keeping it coming and not thinking much about it was entirely excusable and normal. I remember my parents smoking on airplanes.