• Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    Always tired, like most of the time.

    Not being able to feel motivated to “get stuff done” without another person home, or some other external pressure (Im a fuckin homemaker… or sahm?) I like homemaker, my kid is getting older, and Idk, but its work all the time to keep the house clean and running. I have to plan my own days out, and success varies. Were it be, I could just clock in and know exactly what to do.

    I will make excuses to not go to events places I want to because… there are dishes in the sink? so for some reason in those moments I convince myself I cant go to a fair or something because of house work. which is silly, because my husband does not care if its done or not, he just wants me happy. But, I struggle with this. My personal areas, like my clothes and stuff, end up neglected, because there is absolutley no extral pressure. I just lost my fav pair of warm sweat pants for three weeks. couldnt find them, yesterday saw em hanging on the back of the bathroom door on a hook. i dont remember putting them there. And im tired. so bloody tired.

    I stubbornly refuse all meds. But the ADD seriously impacts me. and the depression just- ugh. I have one good day, three sleepy days, then a forced day, then two more sleepy days.

    I fight nearly everyday to do the things. I gotta go clean the cat box rn. im here instead. oye. Sunny, warm, spring days help, but its cold and rainy today, the hardest kind of day.