My (22F) boyfriend Will (23NB/M) only spends time with his other partner Dave (26M) and only mentions him. It’s always “My boyfriend Dave this” “My boyfriend Dave that” or “I can’t wait to see my boyfriend!” “I miss my boyfriend!” “I’m sad I lost my phone so I can’t text my boyfriend!” (today)

Like, it’s so confusing because WHAT ABOUT ME? I’m right there. And he shows guilt a few times and apologizes but keeps doing it. And he never worries about texting me. In fact, he always leaves me on read and doesn’t bother to text back because mainly he’s calling Dave!!!

And I have Aiko (23F), my fiancée, and I love her to death, but I don’t know why I’m so jealous and hung up over this guy!! I just wish he treated me how I treated him and how Aiko and I treat each other. I never tell Aiko this stuff because I don’t wanna make her jealous so I only spend time with her and talk to her about our interests, not him or his interests.

But seriously, and whenever there’s an example of a relationship, he never says “I would never do that to Wendy”, it’s always “I would never do that to Dave” when I hear it. I’m just an afterthought.

But you know what? I’m obviously a sidepiece, and he’s romantic sometimes when we see each other and touchy with me, so maybe he loves me more than I think and I’m just overreacting because I’m such a good person. Like, the queen of good people. So I will likely stay with him and just suck it up.

  • AzuraTheSpellkissed@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    5·
    1 day ago

    Wow, looking at the other comments, I feel like this doesn’t warrant outright suggesting for you to leave him. How about you talk to him directly about your feelings? I don’t know how easy that is for either of you. But being upfront about it might help you find a solution together, or at least give it a shot.

    • Wendy (she/her)@piefed.socialOPEnglish
      1·
      1 day ago

      Hmm, thank you. Apparently he lost his phone, and last time I talked to him he said he was sorry and that he was just depressed.

  • actionjbone@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    7·
    3 days ago

    If he’s not meeting your needs, and if he’s not adapting to meet your needs?

    Don’t stay with him.

    In 20 years, once you’ve learned your own value, you’ll look back and wonder why you stayed with him so long.

    You think you’re overreacting because you’ve been trained to think your own needs are less important than others’. You’re not overreacting: you’re identifying the problem, but then trying to push it aside. Because you don’t realize you’re worth more.

    You are worth more than that.