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ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 14 days ago

RFK Jr.: ‘I Am 6 Animal Penises Away From Curing Cancer’

theonion.com

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RFK Jr.: ‘I Am 6 Animal Penises Away From Curing Cancer’

theonion.com

ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 14 days ago
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WASHINGTON—To announce that his decades-long project to revolutionize modern oncology was nearing fruition, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. held a press conference Friday in which he stated that he was only six animal penises away from curing cancer. “After major breakthroughs in obtaining the penises of a manatee, an armadillo, and […]
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  • lazynooblet@lazysoci.al
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    14 days ago

    Is it sad that I read the title, face slapped, but otherwise considered it a genuine quote without hesitation.

  • walden@wetshav.ing
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    13 days ago

    The headline could have been anything, and I would still have to check for satire. The old leather purse has no brain.

    • pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip
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      12 days ago

      I mean, presumably the worm left something… Hard to tell sometimes…

  • calliope@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    13 days ago

    Sounds a bit like the start of an aggressive statement. Instead of “I came here to kick some ass and chew some gum, and I’m all out of gum.”

    “I am 6 Animal Penises Away From Curing Cancer and BOY AM I HUNGRY FOR ANIMAL PENIS” - RFK Jr

  • zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev
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    13 days ago

    This got Poison by Young Scrolls stuck in my head this morning. 🎵Powdered deer penis🎶

  • massive_bereavement@fedia.io
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    13 days ago

    Is he one step away from becoming a human hotdog?

  • Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world
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    13 days ago

    F

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