I never said children will never be influenced under good parental care. That is impossible to avoid.
You literately wrote “If there is one person that has all the influence, it’s you as a parent.”
But you decided to have a child and now you bear the responsibility.
It really irks me that you keep saying that. I’m happy that you have been lucky with your children, but but now you shit on people that for one or another reason have children that turn out badly. There can be so many reasons why this happens and sometimes it is out of control for parents to prevent or fix it. Do you think that it is the parents full responsibility, that their 13 year old child committed suicide because of bulling?
You literately wrote “If there is one person that has all the influence, it’s you as a parent.”
Yes, because it’s true. The kid spends most of it’s time in your care. But that doesn’t mean you can negate all the other influence. But you can and should keep track of what is happening in your childs life.
but now you shit on people that for one or another reason have children that turn out badly
I’m not really trying to shit on people, sorry if you get that impression. There are reasons why children turn out bad despite you doing your best - especially if the partner leaves and you’re a single parent. It’s nearly impossible to feed yourself and your child while still paying 100% attention to what it does.
However, my impression is that many people want to have children but not take care of them. That’s what I see in my daily life. Kids come home from school, get something to eat and then the parents put them in front of a TV or a tablet so they can keep themselves busy while the parents do whatever. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not even wrong to do that every now and then. Everyone needs a pause. But in many - especially poorer - families, this is common practice and it’s no surprise the kids turn out as they do.
Do you think that it is the parents full responsibility, that their 13 year old child committed suicide because of bulling?
If bullying gets to a point where it’s so bad the bullied kid feels the need to kill itself, there’s so many things wrong before that. It’s not like a child is bullied once and immediately jumps off a building, that is a long process that goes on for weeks or months and the changes that happen to the child are noticeable to adults in the childs life. Doesn’t want to go to school anymore, scared to go out etc. - if you’re a somewhat attentive parent, those change are noticeable. My mum, for example, almost always ate lunch with me when I came home and talked with me about the day. If I was bullied, she would’ve noticed within days.
So no, they don’t carry the full responsibility. But they are certainly partly responsible, even tho that might sound cruel to you.
You literately wrote “If there is one person that has all the influence, it’s you as a parent.”
It really irks me that you keep saying that. I’m happy that you have been lucky with your children, but but now you shit on people that for one or another reason have children that turn out badly. There can be so many reasons why this happens and sometimes it is out of control for parents to prevent or fix it. Do you think that it is the parents full responsibility, that their 13 year old child committed suicide because of bulling?
Yes, because it’s true. The kid spends most of it’s time in your care. But that doesn’t mean you can negate all the other influence. But you can and should keep track of what is happening in your childs life.
I’m not really trying to shit on people, sorry if you get that impression. There are reasons why children turn out bad despite you doing your best - especially if the partner leaves and you’re a single parent. It’s nearly impossible to feed yourself and your child while still paying 100% attention to what it does.
However, my impression is that many people want to have children but not take care of them. That’s what I see in my daily life. Kids come home from school, get something to eat and then the parents put them in front of a TV or a tablet so they can keep themselves busy while the parents do whatever. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not even wrong to do that every now and then. Everyone needs a pause. But in many - especially poorer - families, this is common practice and it’s no surprise the kids turn out as they do.
If bullying gets to a point where it’s so bad the bullied kid feels the need to kill itself, there’s so many things wrong before that. It’s not like a child is bullied once and immediately jumps off a building, that is a long process that goes on for weeks or months and the changes that happen to the child are noticeable to adults in the childs life. Doesn’t want to go to school anymore, scared to go out etc. - if you’re a somewhat attentive parent, those change are noticeable. My mum, for example, almost always ate lunch with me when I came home and talked with me about the day. If I was bullied, she would’ve noticed within days.
So no, they don’t carry the full responsibility. But they are certainly partly responsible, even tho that might sound cruel to you.
Seems that we somewhat agree - good to know that you also think that it’s not as black and white as you started out with in this discussion.