No one has really answered the question yet, so here it is:
It’s generational. They’re using the tools to cope they were given by their parents, their parents before them, and so on.
People taking mental health more seriously is breaking that cycle but it is hard for parents to go against how they were taught to react. As kids, they were told to take their trauma and shove it down, get over it, and don’t talk about it. They made it through their young adult years so they think this must be good advice. However, they fail to recognize their own trauma they’ve been carrying around for 30 years.
My parents made some huge mistakes when I was growing up but I don’t blame them, I say they the did the best they could with the tools they were given and I believe that. If I believed they didn’t do their best then the things they did wrong would be nefarious and that would be evil. My parents aren’t evil people, one was raised by a hard ass alcoholic. They were shaped by that dysfunction.
They need to know you’re struggling but they need to hear it in a way they understand. If you’re in school, talk to a counselor and see what resources are available to you. If you have a job, see if they have an employee assistance program (EAP), HR will know.
No one has really answered the question yet, so here it is:
It’s generational. They’re using the tools to cope they were given by their parents, their parents before them, and so on.
People taking mental health more seriously is breaking that cycle but it is hard for parents to go against how they were taught to react. As kids, they were told to take their trauma and shove it down, get over it, and don’t talk about it. They made it through their young adult years so they think this must be good advice. However, they fail to recognize their own trauma they’ve been carrying around for 30 years.
My parents made some huge mistakes when I was growing up but I don’t blame them, I say they the did the best they could with the tools they were given and I believe that. If I believed they didn’t do their best then the things they did wrong would be nefarious and that would be evil. My parents aren’t evil people, one was raised by a hard ass alcoholic. They were shaped by that dysfunction.
They need to know you’re struggling but they need to hear it in a way they understand. If you’re in school, talk to a counselor and see what resources are available to you. If you have a job, see if they have an employee assistance program (EAP), HR will know.
Good luck.