This has me cackling thanks

You’re right, I’m sorry.

My design is flawless otherwise though right??

Now that just seems a bit unrealistic, doesn’t it? Everyone knows nuclear reactors are quite heavy. Let’s not stoop to silliness.

To be fair, since it is also a 5MW cold fusion reactor, it is also rather heavy, so one does need to be stronger than the average person. It’s the ONLY downside to this innovative product. It even folds!

Thankfully, being shaped like an umbrella, the design already accounts for this by directing rain away from the power output located at the base of the handle. It’s Type C!

With my unlimited budget, I have also funded research to increase the official USB-C PD spec to a frankly irresponsible five megawatts of energy throughput.

Unlimited budget? My tactical umbrella is capable of generating 5MW of electricity from cold nuclear fusion.

Yep you’re right, I’m a Nazi because I use a keyboard developed by a foundation funded by a guy who hosted someone for an interview who is a bad person with bad ideas.

Doesn’t matter who I vote for. Doesn’t matter what I advocate for. The work I do to organize in my community doesn’t matter. All of that is invalidated because of the keyboard I use. I’m a secret Nazi! And I’d have gotten away with it too, if it hadn’t been for that meddling Edible Funk.

You’re the hero we all need here on the Left.

A backdoor in what, exactly?? Please do some research into the programs you’re running so you can base your opinions on that knowledge rather than vibes.

Still struggling to understand what makes it “dead.”

Careful, I heard one of the Heliboard devs kicked a puppy once. How dare you support such Evil software?!

/s because sadly that’s needed

Honestly getting tired of the purity tests. The alternatives are horrific. Google. Apple. Meta. So please find me the FOSS project that is perfectly free of sin which I’m allowed to support.

At this point it begins to feel as though this DDV is only here to write takedown pieces on projects not deemed pure enough for the cause.

FUTO hosted an interview once with a POS guy. Oh, the horror. Please help me understand what that has to do with the existence of a keyboard that isn’t spyware. Yeah no. I’ll keep supporting the working alternatives, you have fun using absolutely nothing because “What if one of the devs wasn’t a good person??!”

Same Apple and Google whose CEOs were standing behind the dictator during his inauguration this year?

I can’t think of a reason why, with client side scanning, they couldn’t in the near future implement a filter similar to this. Pictures and videos deemed “problematic” could magically disappear. And of course, your iPhone will send a helpful report to the local Gestapo branch. Eventually, “Sorry, network permission is required to run the camera app. You may not capture images of law enforcement activities per executive law. The camera will now be disabled until you comply.”

These phone pouches confuse me. They open with a simple magnet. Do they think kids don’t have access to magnets?

Your comment is like the embodiment of one of those “Kids don’t know how to swipe a book like an iPad” boomerslop comics

Unfortunately a Fairphone is not a secure device.

Child slaves labored to make raw materials for the device you’re holding. Your purchase kept the market rate for raw materials high, encouraging the continued use of slave labor. Don’t you feel bad?

We do the best we can with the decisions we have available to us.

Easy. Refurbed phone. Google didn’t get a penny.

GrapheneOS is one of the last bastions of freedom remaining. I don’t know what we’ll do if that happens.