Hmm. I don’t remember reading about anyone in, say, the Department of Agriculture sending an army of unhinged nazi-wannabes into cities to murder people, kidnap children to traffick for God-knows-what hideous purpose, bash people, mace people, gas people. I mean, I could be wrong. Some folks get pretty serious about soybeans …

Somebody should glue him to the middle of an intersection so people can use him as a roundabout.

They don’t use it enough in the movies.

The Hand is still the safest way to not be squished … statistically speaking.

He should get life with no parole. It’s not like she can come back after 20 years.

"We totally investigated ourselves and … "

See Part 2

I’m just gonna put a happy little Bob Ross … right here.

Fry your flour in butter.

Even better, butter the outside too and fry the toast in it. Melts in your mouth! Makes a lot of smoke in the kitchen, but melts in your mouth.

A drone hovers over your remote country home. Is it Amazon delivering a package? Is it an enthusiastic hobbyist with a voyeurism fetish? Is it a particularly modern version of religious hawkers? Is it the New York Times seeking subscriptions? Is it ICE?

Could be anything.

Took a minute to understand the ‘m’ means ‘miles’ not meters.

Nope. Chuck Testa!

What Bondi really means is, “Stop fucking asking about them! Jesus, how many more distractions do we need to create?!”

Well, that sounds wonderful!

If we’re living in a simulation, can’t we just use clouds as RAM?

I thought that was a Law?

Or waiting for a tradie to turn up ‘some time between 7 and 5’.

Microwave: “You are an incredibly sensitive man, who inspires joy-joy feelings in all those around you!”

Pops knows what he likes and is living his best life.

Oh, now the NRA has an opinion …