I joined the army because I had no idea what to do with my life.

35 years later I still have no idea what to do with my life.

That’s my 20!

Little fuckass wingrat took my 20, took his picture with it and calls himself TeH mOneY PiDGiN and acts all benign and shit.

Fucker bought meth with it. Asshat.

Okay follow up question…

All at once?

If I don’t have a twin can I check that one off or do I need to pick someone at random and adopt them as my twin? Also is it 100% absorption or are there parts I can omit, or is it okay to absorb small portions, say, bodily fluids? I have specific reasons for these questions.

Yeah my housing unit had a little laundry room with four washers and dryers and a folding area. All the laundry guy did was offer the convenience of doing your stuff for you and giving it back to you nice and clean and folded, you know, for people who couldn’t be bothered to do that for themselves.

Man, they’re gonna have a hell of a time trying to turn me into a likable, sympathetic protagonist, but sure, give it a shot.

I was in a low security federal prison for a couple years. There was actually a surprising amount of work and leisure activities to keep inmates occupied if they chose. There were maintenance jobs, including electrical and HVAC jobs that you could actually get certification for. There was a full library, education facility, computer lab, chapel, rec center with indoor and outdoor courts, and fully equipped music and art studios.

I worked in the education center, helping other inmates work towards their GED. Inmates who didn’t have a high school education were offered extra good time if they got their GED, and it was rewarding to be a part of. In the evening I usually went to rec and played in bands with other inmates who played.

The housing unit was usually quiet. We were all short timers who just wanted to get their time done and go home. We didn’t have cells. We were in little cubicles just big enough for a bunk, lockers, and a desk, and we generally had free roam around the place. Folks would get together and play board games in the evening. And of course there were your usual hustles…the store guys, guys who’d do your laundry, whatever.

looks around

I believe the shitposting groups are thataway…

Mister Peen?

The body of Chrysler.

I got my last name legally changed to “The Impaler,” and despite some strong opinions from the court and the DMV, they have to use it now. I really feel like I finally found a way to beat the system.

Fart in comically obnoxious ways. Examples include the Doggy Leg Lift, the Goatse, the Modified Goatse, and one I simply call “The Hamburgler’s Revenge.”

So let me get this straight…

This guy set out to get revenge on a blackmailer, and Spidey took the blackmailer’s side???

Peter, we need to have a difficult conversation about your choices….

Still kinda excited tho