Are we sure that’s D.C.? Looks like the Pentagon (which is across the river in Virginia).

Sinners! Robosexuality is an abomination!

https://comb.io/NgY12F

Where else am I supposed to perform my ablutions?

The only answer I need from an AI is 42.

My mom opens chip bags like she’s a wrestler ripping their shirt off for the crowd.

maslow’s mall ninja

“Well, don’t want to sound like a dick or nothin’, but, ah… it says on your chart that you’re fucked up.”

That’s because he isn’t acting. Somewhere along the line he stopped being the actor known as Ryan Reynolds and just became the character Ryan Reynolds.

ah yes, the forbidden curl hack