• TriflingToad@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    2·
    2 days ago

    Every time one of my friends mentioned their (toxic) ex I would stop them from being sad and wanting to go back. I appeared in their DREAMS and made them not talk to their dream-ex lmao.

  • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world
    2·
    6 days ago

    I hear this often enough that I just assume I’m a memorable person.

    Normally I just ask what it was about, but occasionally I like to throw in a “that makes two of us!” Or “I promise I don’t look that good in spandex”

  • jordanlund@lemmy.world
    3·
    9 days ago

    My wife sleep divorced me. LOL.

    2 AM, she shoves me awake. She’s sitting on the edge of the bed like the chick from Paranormal Activity.

    She pulls her wedding ring off, jams it in my hand, says “THIS IS FOR YOU! We need to make OTHER ARRANGEMENTS! I can’t believe you said THAT in front of our son!!!”

    Then she lays back down and is dead asleep.

    I’m like “WTAF?” Do I wake her up? Do I sleep with a knife under the pillow?

    So I wake her up. She’s pissed, but not “Imma divorce you” pissed, just “It’s 2 AM why are you waking me up?” pissed.

    “Do you know what you just did?”

    “Wait, what? Why?”

    So I hand her the wedding ring back.

    “Oh… OH!”

    Apparently, in the dream, I had been laying on the couch and she asked me to do something and I responded something along the lines of “Meh, I’d rather be boning Faye.”

    Faye. A fictional character from the web comic “Questionable Content” which we both read.

    https://questionablecontent.fandom.com/wiki/Faye_Whitaker

    But now it’s hilarious, because when she asks me to do something I can go “Meh, I’d rather be boning Faye.”

    • makeshiftreaper@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      8 days ago

      In her defense if you’d rather be porking that ball of anxiety who causes every man in her orbit to experience full on ego collapse than your wife, she has every right to divorce you. And Jeph can pay her legal fees, god knows he has the patreon money for it

          • HubertManne@piefed.socialEnglish
            1·
            9 days ago

            lol. that is thing so funny because of how untrue it likely is. you are very humungus fellow human. I will tell my earth mate as she to will find it so funny.

            • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
              1·
              9 days ago

              Hold up guys. I think this Hubert Manne might not be completely human. Note that they used the wrong “too”. Major red flag for aliens there.

              • HubertManne@piefed.socialEnglish
                1·
                9 days ago

                hey hey hey there. Lets not get hasty here. We are all earth bros here and there is no such things as aliens. I mean if their were wouldn’t they like manipulating the media to get idiots into power so that they could easily take over and protect their agents. Thats like illegal immigrant type talk.

      • HubertManne@piefed.socialEnglish
        1·
        9 days ago

        Only on roads and sidewalks… and in trains and buildings and at ball games… on buses and grocery stores and malls and bananas and in the sky. But not in dreams, no sir-ee!

  • WatDabney@sopuli.xyz
    1·
    9 days ago

    So years ago, I was going through chemotherapy, and was seeing an oncologist regularly. She was my age more or less and very attractive and single, but also an oncologist treating me professionally.

    We got along very well and generally ended up talking about things other than my treatment (which is how I learned she was single - she shared that fact unprompted), but even with that, I never pushed it - it just seemed too weird to actually pursue a relationship with my oncologist. I couldn’t be sure how much of it was just in my head - some weird doctor/patient dependency thing - and besides, she was a responsible professional and I was a house painter living in a duplex and spending my spare time smoking pot and playing disc golf, so it wasn’t like I had anything of actual value to offer. So I just contented myself with pleasant conversations every two weeks.

    Then one day, right near the end of my treatment, seemingly out of nowhere, she said, “I dreamed about you last night.”

    I panicked. I couldn’t imagine any follow-up to that that wasn’t going to be weird or disappointing or stressful.

    I don’t remember what I said or how the conversation went from there, but it was noncommittal enough that I never learned the details of her dream, and our last few appointments were straightforwardly professional, and that was that. My cancer never recurred, and I haven’t seen her since.

    I’ve always wondered, but you know - if I had it to do over again, I doubt I’d do any differently.