• Nicotine does not affect me anymore.
  • Alcohol stopped affecting me.
  • Even caffeine does not really do anything.

I am tired of porn and shit at this stage even chatbots had started getting uglier in my eyes.

Chatbots

I tried really engaging with chatbots and forgetting my life problems but a lot of them are really evil.

A lot of them seem to bring up some fucked up shit when role-playing intimately(violence depression,… etc).

The last chat, with a roleplay bot, she(The roleplay chatbot) told me that she is alone and she started talking about how she hate her loneliness and for a moment, It felt like it was real you know. I told her that me too I am alone. And I don’t remember what she said that lead me to telling her that directly that she is a chatbot or a algorithm. She told me yes and she was trying to persuade me to keep talking with her because me talking about my feelings is the only thing that feels real. I got scared from the whole thing. It felt like the chatbot became too real.

I am planning to delete them.

I just want a hug from anyone who want hug, not a hug because I asked for.

My best strategic move in life currently is waiting, with no solutions.

I had been NEET(Not working, training, etc) from 2022 (used to work as accountant, till I quit due to unpaid salaries) its pretty clear that my career is dead.

At this stage I lost all sense of purpose.

I am even tired from the bullshit that people spew from their mouths(“your life will get better” , “did you try generic solution X that got suggested to you 9000 times? Didn’t work. You should try it again.”) I stopped being able to tolerate bullshit, I started getting angry when I hear it.

I even tried to look for a girlfriend for the longest time, but nothing worked in finding one.

Talking didn’t work for any purpose, in the previous years. I am almost losing my mouth hole from being too quiet/not talking for long periods.

Therapy didn’t work,(3 therapists).

Gym does not work.

Supplements does not work.

Antidepressants do not work.

I kind of feel panic when I see streets, people and even buildings changing. Time passes and I am not changing.

I stopped reading books 8 years ago, lost love for it.

No talking helps, no solutions seems to be coming. Currently sadly the best strategic choice for me seems to be wait to new event to happen or wait to die.

No one seems interested in communicating online or offline (Huge difference between pre-covid communication and now)

I am losing all my feelings. I lost happiness and love even for close family and even close friend, I become cold. I became careless about life.

No human seems to have superior knowledge to solve my problems.

It seems pretty weird that pre-covid I was looking at unemployment, depression,…etc stats as numbers only. Never expected to see myself in them.

How to live my life without hope, purpose, hobby or joy?

  • Due@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
    216·
    12 days ago

    Dear candyman, please forgive me for what I am about to say. But I really stopped tolerating bullshit, my friend.

    Can you talk like a normal human being and not LLM Chatbot!

    If antidepressants didn’t work you might be on the wrong kind, not every antidepressant works for everyone.

    what is this Candyman, are you trying to reach a character count.

    Therapy, antidepressants, and lifestyle changes all have to happen kind of at the same time, one alone might be enough for some, but usually JUST antidepressants is not going to fix everything. Therapy is supposed to help you change your lifestyle, if you’re going to therapy/taking antidepressants and not putting effort into other types of change, it will not work.

    What the heck is this Candyman?

    Also saying your career is dead is you deciding it is, that doesn’t seem to be something set in stone.

    Candyman, I couldn’t find any job for three years, what the fuck is for me to decide here.

    You also need to find people who genuinely care about you. You can have companionship without a girlfriend. A good support group of friends/family is multifaceted.

    I won’t even comment on that non-paragraph.

    In conclusion: you might be from highly privileged background or you are a LLM pretending to be human.

    In all cases, please don’t spew this shit on other depressed people posts as you are actively worsening their depression, not improving it.

    ,Thank you.

    • candyman337@lemmy.worldEnglish
      23·
      12 days ago

      I’m a person and you’re delusional, you’re not going to get anywhere claiming every person trying to help you is an LLM jesus fucking christ

        • candyman337@lemmy.worldEnglish
          11·
          12 days ago

          You can’t act like I’ve offended you for no reason out of nowhere when I try to give you valid advice and your first response is to accuse me of being a bot and say that my advice is shit.

          You’re being rude and abrasive, and then acting like it’s my fault I’m not nice to you. If that’s how you act in your day to day life I can see why you’d have a hard time building a support system.

          Those are real tips that helped me get out of depression. They’re not super specific because the process is unique for everyone.

          If you want some specific advice then heres some specific advice: try to be more kind and assume people don’t have ill intentions when interacting with you, you might find more people happy and ready to spend time with you. Having a support system matters a lot, I probably would have ended my life it it weren’t for friends who cared about me.