He saw it on TV instead of through his porn accountability app. It was terrifying for him to not share his viewing with his son.
Oh yeah, he does that.
Dicks out for democracy.
Tits out against tyranny.
Buttholes out against bastards.
The battle of the buttholes?
Sounds like a good time
Eh, I’m just gonna stay at home and fart around.
Butthole royale
What an impressively sheltered life he’s lived.
Well what do you expect when his son won’t let him watch porn?
How perfectly normal
Did he not see Jan 6th 2021?
You mean that fake Jan 6 Antifa woke FBI mob that were unarmed and just peaceful tourists?
Unlike that nothing burger, where five people died…
This VIOLENT bike ride had DICKS out.
I again ask, why did Trump pardon all those Antifa woke FBI crisis actors paid by Soros?
Right? I didn’t see cyclists smear shit all over the place before leaving.
Their bike seats smell funny! I am not taking questions on why I’m sniffing strangers bike seats.
Johnson’s definitely got the furtive look of a gusset-sniffer, and probably a bike-seat-sniffer too.
The U.S. is such a strange place, where a sizable part of the population is more terrified of tits than guns.
Can i post this into the microblog memes community with the title “we need more open carry boobs”?
Go for it
It’s only a matter of time until boob registration will be mandatory.
It would make much more sense if our MIC developed these…
…huh. I find the missile-to-bust ratio to be implausible.
You’ve never been to Las Vegas, then.
Open carrying tits is way less common.
Would you open carry your tits in schools !!?
Arming teachers with boobs is the only way to stop all the school boobings.
Seriously though : phrased like that it highlights how dumb the argument sounds for arming the teachers
Isn’t that the most American statement ever. Belligerent assholes walking around with automatic rifles and tacticool pseudo military gear from Ebay? What a patriotic display! A bunch of people without clothes just biking around? The most threatening thing I’ve seen yet!
Lmao, Christians are too funny to me. Violence and murder, a-ok; little bit of nudity, “they’re very threatening!”
I know, right? Like even as a kid the idea that Robocop (with some dude melting and getting smashed into a flesh smoothy) was just as bad as seeing a woman’s boob was baffling. It still is as an adult.
They weren’t even without clothes, apparently. Just in a bit less.
Next time someone says lefties are too soft, remember that Mike Johnson feels deeply threatened by naked people on bikes in a city on the other side of the country from him.
Portland does this sort of thing every year. Clutch your pearls harder, you mushroom-fluffing fascist.
The only thing it threatened was your fragile sense of heterosexuality upon seeing all those chilly willies.
all those chilly willies
Yeah, I heard the weather was pretty bad this year. Ngl, though, I feel feel like my fragile sense of masculinity would be much more threatened by a bunch of massive flopping songs on a hot day, than it would be by a bunch of tiny chilly willies on a cold day.
…Hold up. Poor/middle class guys with small schlongs drive huge trucks and loud cars. Does this mean that rich guys with tiny tallywhackers go into politics?
Flopping songs. I can hear their sound now.
Seattle does a naked bike ride every solstice festival!
Time to start up a winter solstice festival. I’m actually a little surprised we don’t have one (or do we?).
Apparently there’s something at Green Lake on two weekends, 5-8pm. But I’m always too seasonally depressed to go anywhere for the winter solstice.
Uh, I’d have gone with those planes crashing into the WTC, but sure.
Or the lunatics assaulting our capital to keep a wannabe dictator in power
So, he considers unarmed, naked people “threatening”? What a weak, cowardly snowflake.
all those meatswords t he men are carrying could seriously harm him.
In his ego too, where it hurts the most.
He’s worried about being stabbed, repeatedly, and liking it.
He’s afraid it will awaken something in him.
He’s seen the dildo seat videos and he secretly hopes they’ll appear in mainstream media from coverage of the protest. He’s gleeful with the possibility, he can’t stop talking about it
Nothing threatens Conservatives than casual nudity. Got it.
Wait until they learn about guillotines!
How much longer, though? We’ve been very patient.
Why not moon 'em as they get the chop?
“Most recently,” Johnson went on, “the most threatening thing I’ve seen yet was the naked bicyclers in Portland who were protesting ICE down there. I mean, it’s getting really ugly.”
Though the people behind him appeared to stifle a smile, it does not seem that he was joking, because he went on to say that protesters have attacked officers and people have been arrested.
The phrase “the most threatening thing I’ve seen yet was the naked bicyclers in Portland who were protesting ICE down there,” cannot logically be anything except a defense of Portland. There is no other logical interpretation. It logically means that Portland has nothing more threatening than peaceful naked bicyclers. They can’t even carry a concealed weapon.
But since Johnson is apparently disconnected from reality and basic logic, he can say something that defends Portland and pretend like it is a criticism of Portland. Is it even possible that he’s so delusional that he believes what he’s saying? No, I think it’s very unlikely.
Even though the article says “it does not seem that he was joking,” I still have trouble believing it. I have to convince myself that Mike Johnson wouldn’t publicly defend Portland as being safe in order to believe that he wasn’t joking.
But then, what am I left with? No human being over, say, 15, with reasonable intelligence, could think about that statement that Johnson said and believe he was telling the truth.
So, the explanation is that Mike Johnson is so used to getting away with lying that he’ll just say anything. And meanwhile, his audience are so used to not thinking that they don’t even call him on it.
can’t even carry a concealed weapon
Not with that attitude.
Zap carry ftw
Fascists don’t do logic or coherency. We know they’re lying. They know that we know. But it’s a show of power for them to lie anyway.
I forgot nudity is like the ultimate taboo in the USA. Janet Jackson was sent to Guantanamo for her nip-nip popping out a little, while meanwhile over the pond there are nude Germans on every beach and children are raised by Eurotrash on late night TV.
That Eurotrash nudity was always such a gamble. Always a toss-up between actually attractive women, and a 73 year-old Danish naturist with tits like windsocks. Or Lolo bloody Ferrari and her horrendous stretched beachballs.
73 year-old Danish naturist with tits like windsocks
So THAT’S where my ex-wife vanished off to…
73 year-old Danish naturist with tits like windsocks
Long boobies are in style now. You’ll see.
Janet Jackson was not a prisoner at Gitmo wtf
Wooosh 😃
Cleared for takeoff.
Roger, Roger.
(Username checks out)
I kind of like the lore that Janet Jackson has been in Guantanamo this entire time and the rest of us completely missed the memo.
I wouldn’t have noticed either way to be fair
He’s really thinking “All those cocks and not enough time to suck them all.”
“Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot.”
/37
In a row??!?!!??!!
He needs to figure out the Mean Jerk Time.
some of them seemed to be too large or long for him.
Nothing a bit of determination can’t fix
