A vague preschool incident report has left local parents scratching their heads, unsure whether their four-year-old daughter sustained a minor playground tumble or attempted to topple a South Pacific government.

The incident unfolded at Little Gumleaves Preschool Centre yesterday, where staff handed over the customary clipboard at pick-up, asking for a signature while assuring the parents that “everything was fine” and “appropriate action was taken.”

According to the child’s father, the form’s deliberately ambiguous wording offered little clarity.

“It just said she was ‘involved in an event’ and that ‘staff responded appropriately,” he said.

“That could mean she tripped over a toy truck or that she’s now controlling the Fijian parliament. Honestly, it’s impossible to tell.” […]