You must log in or # to comment.
I didn’t need this today, Nicole.
Yeah, I was doing just fine on my own!
Ferreal, tho. It’s like she’s implying those aren’t simple, elementary facts of modern life, and judging those that don’t agree with her whinge-as-wisdom, FFS. 🤌🏼
😶
Any blurb that sounds like sound psychological advice people on the Internet can use to self-diagnose will do
You ok over there, 00s kid?
I’m actually from 93. Also no not really.
Yes, I inferred that. 🤓 FYI, being born within a particular decade doesn’t make you a “child of” that same period unless you were school age in it as well. Ergo, “00s kid”. 🤙🏽
Also, here’s hoping it picks up for ya! 🖖🏽
I’m sorry to inform you that this is not a given and most people do not feel this way. You see more people like this because you spend a lot of time on the internet. You know who else spends a lot of time on the internet? People like me who feel just as shitty as you do. We are not normal. Normal people do not visit lemmy, or know what a Linux operating system is.
I’m sorry that you feel so comfy with those little lies and acerbic fallacies, genuinely. Currently, isolation is a very real concern for many, if not most modern communities and humanity in general. The causes are legion, and the effects are often globally felt. For example, the entire country of Japan has been suffering from it for so long, they have a fucking word for the “lifestyle”, FFS.
Also, fuck “normal”. That’s just a word unimaginative mouthbreathers use to neg people with —and there are too many of them in the world already. No need to do it to yourself (or others). 🖖🏽
Also, fuck “normal”. That’s just a word
unimaginative mouthbreathers use to nsg
people with
Sometimes when I think “why can’t I just be normal???..”, I like to remind myself that there is no such think as “normal” :)
Dearest, you are coping by telling yourself that the way you feel is a fact of life. That everyone feels that way. They don’t, and you can feel better.
More negging? Ew. 🤌🏼
Just giving obvious advice.
Ffs I’m just trying to quietly make my way to the end. I’m fine.
You don’t make connections because Yoh believe you will be abandoned.
I don’t make connections because I know I would be a shitty friend and incapable of actually maintaining a friendship.
Not sure if this is how you meant it, but this is how I read it.
Why not both?
username: deadcream
fully confirming my suspicion that you were the one who didn’t put the ice cream back in the fridge
You have only yourself to blame
I meant a completely different kind of cream
Also I’m pleading the fifth on the ice cream
Considering the preceding sentence, I’m not sure I wanna know what you think “pleading the fifth” means. 🤢
😅
Always interesting to hear about something new I have had for decades.
People can’t let you down, if you keep your distance. I think it’s better this way.
You would think so, but no matter what people will find a way to let you down.
You could be expecting to be beaten half to death and they’ll stop at a quarter.
All the things I had to do to protect myself from manipulative people.
They needed my attention. I became more independent and denied giving them any attention. They don’t like that I’m not giving them the attention they think they deserve so they try and turn everyone against me.
It happens often because I’m quiet and kind. They think that makes me easy to manipulate. I’ve become hardened to manipulators. So much to the point that physical touch with other people has become awkward or uncomfortable.
Lol! This is pretty well the cycle for dismissive-avoidant attachment style.
Relatable
I have just come to realize I don’t like people. Nothing personal, I just don’t like you.
This is correct.
Yea. Me too.
Well, shit…
Being hyper independent is lonely, but it’s better than any of the alternatives I know of.
You can be all that with no fear of abadonment. Not having the energy to deal with people’s constant bullshit, just not particularly liking people, not being very good at talking to people and being heard and not taken advantage of- are all more than enough.
This incessant need by psychiatry to link trauma to abandonment and refuse any other reasoning, has lead to a lot of misdiagnosis, especially in women.
I’m generally not a big proponent of western therapy in general, so I’m not arguing that part of your comment, I just wanted to say - it’s normal to not be very good at talking to people. Like any skill, it takes practice, which requires accepting that you’ll be bad at it initially.
I did it, I went from socially awkward to people not believing me when I tell them I’m an introvert; “But you’re so sociable and charismatic!”. Gonna be honest, still don’t really want to talk to people. Like sure, I like having discussions and hashing ideas out with an external perspective, and I’m glad I developed the skill. But I don’t want to just, talk to people. It’s generally exhausting.
deleted by creator
I recognize myself in this one and I hate it
Same here 🥲
The antidote is gratitude for the small moments and the things we do have.
I also think better experiences help. I.e. telling some friends specifically what you struggle with, they will work with it. And so when in doubt in the future, you can recall the times where asking for help was totally fine with certain people.
Yes, connection is key with those who have earned the right to hear it.
This assumes friends.
Hey, I know sometimes you really have no one to talk to and I don’t wanna minimize that. Writing helps, or talking to animals, or, you know just other aspects of life. For me anyway. And I can’t possibly make an all encompassing statement here that fits every situation.
But things change, and beliefs like “I can’t trust anyone” can change to “I can trust this person with that”, as people show up in life who are different. It doesn’t have to be a friend either, can be a therapist or similar who is different from the rest, where you can actually tell them something. Or somebody in a shared hobby, etc.
This assumes I desire friends.
Alright, buddy, mate technical
I also think better experiences help. I.e. telling some friends
It doesn’t have to be a friend either
I’m hyper independent for two main reasons:
- Maintaining connections takes too much damn energy, no matter how good the other person is. And as someone with a nasty Voltron of ADD and Asperger’s, there are a myriad of co-morbidities along for that ride.
- i would rather full-ass something to my own satisfaction than suffer someone else’s half-assed attempts.
… So that’s what it’s called. I knew it couldn’t just be me. What is it called when one tries not to be this way by reaching out, but finds nobody actually helps anyway?
Being right. Back to total self reliance again.
Also what’s it called when you consider asking others for help, but you watch everyone in your vicinity do everything in a way that’s completely the opposite of how you would, so you HAVE to do it yourself anyway, or else your OCD will cause you more stress than you’ve supposedly been relieved of?
I’m the opposite. I essentially plead with people for connections. No one wants to do a god damn thing anymore. It’s easier to sit inside and stare at a screen. I want to do stuff and no one else really does.
There are many people who want to go out and do stuff; you haven’t met them. I am in my 50s and I spent a couple decades trying to convince the friends I had to be more interested in doing, and I never succeeded. It is clear to me now that I should have been out finding my people who enjoyed the stuff I enjoy, and spending my time with them instead.
Don’t be me.
It’s just a matter of finding these people when there’s not a lot of people interested in leaving the house.
You meet em out of the house is the trick.
Where do you find the energy? I’m so constantly exhausted from dealing with the world and life that I can barely get errands done on weekends. You must be from SEA and away from the news of the impending world war because of a dementia patient and his cavalcade of hate.
I don’t know what SEA is. I have kids and hobbies. Get off the fuggin’ internet, dude. I’m seriously considering leaving Lemmy now due to the doom and gloom and the acceptance of only one holier than thou opinion on very subjective issues here. The internet is an echo chamber of doom. Negativity sells like sex out here. Get off the internet. Stop staring at screens. It gets easier. News sites profit off your fear and anger, and they will continue to do so while you let them.
Southeast Asia
