There is a tiny pinhole in the top of the gear stick. If you put a paperclip in it for 5secs the horn honks and the BMW is reset. Afterwards you have to resync your key through the authenticator app and change your blinkers from one to three.

If you hear a continuous honk. Your BMW is actually a transformer and you just sounded it’s urethra.

I thought a glitter bat was a goth wearing colorful accessories.

My settings. Closed Captions always on, volume set very low.

I have always said when you really think about statements your relatives/friends make, they are just nice ways of saying really personal topics.

Nice: Isn’t it time for you to work on having a baby?
Unfiltered: Are you going to get rawdogged a few times until your eggs get fertilized?

Nice: Boy it must have been a cold winter.
Unfiltered: You fucked a lot 9 months before September didn’t you?

Nice: You should experience being a parent! We can have playdates together.
Unfiltered: You should have a child so you can understand the horror I went through and we can trauma bond.

I’m not sure if I should be labeled as an introvert or not. I just hate small talk and don’t really care to get to know people unless they interest me. Not many people interest me, because I find people just bitch about the same things or the only thing they have to talk about is sports team, weather, or TV thing.

People who say I’m quiet, just don’t know I hate talking to them. I won’t shut up around the 2-3 people I actually like. I never had a problem throwing myself into social settings or just conversing with strangers. I’m typically the one coordinating people to get together.

I’m either the less introvert of the introvert group or maybe I’m a sociopath?

Anyhow I shut down conversations like OP all the damn time, just because I don’t want to talk to that person in particular or I’m in a hurry.

Today we’re going to make a beautiful landscape together, but before we put brush to canvas, I’ve got to tell you about something very important…

Today’s painting is sponsored by Canson. Canson paper is smooth, durable, and perfect for all your happy accidents.

Isn’t that just wonderful? Click the link down in the description, or use my promo code HAPPYTREES15 at checkout to save on your next purchase and support the channel.

Lifts-Her-Tail
Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.

Crantius Colto
Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?

Lifts-Her-Tail
I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.

Crantius Colto
So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.

Lifts-Her-Tail
You embarrass me, sir!

Crantius Colto
Fear not. You are safe here with me.

Lifts-Her-Tail
I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!

Crantius Colto
Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear.

Lifts-Her-Tail
But it is huge! It could take me all night!

Crantius Colto
Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

Lifts-Her-Tail
My goodness, that’s quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?

Crantius Colto
This loaf isn’t ready for baking, my sweet. It has yet to rise.

Lifts-Her-Tail
If only we could hurry that along. How would I accomplish such a task?

Crantius Colto
Oh, my foolish little Argonian maid, you must use your hands.

Lifts-Her-Tail
You wish me to kneed the loaf? Here?

Crantius Colto
Of course.

Lifts-Her-Tail
But what if the mistress catches me? Your loaf was meant to satisfy her appetite.

Crantius Colto
Don’t fret, my delicate flower. I’ll satisfy the mistress’s cravings later.

Lifts-Her-Tail
Very well, but I’m afraid my oven isn’t hot enough. It could take hours!

Crantius Colto
Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

Once their spouse finds out the ring is lost. They’ll be in deep shit.

Featuring Ant-Man as the butt plug.

JD Vance maybe dyed his hair to escape a life of crime? To be safe maybe we shouldn’t let him near burgers, couches, or political offices.

But I have no where else to go when I’m taking a shit or bored at work. Won’t you forgive me, so I can stay? 😭

I’m sorry, please don’t make me join the other social medias.

Unfortunately I’m going to go commit suicide and won’t be able to respond further. How could I respond? I’ll be dead after all.

Oh shit did I say suicide, I must have been fucking around this whole time. Yes I think the word is dumb too. Now I’ll go back and edit the original to make this chain confusing.

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I’m really trying. But even my image search is filtered (see) and when I type UNALIVE my phone replaces it with UNALIVE.

Yeesh, that’s cringe bro.

No, you.

So what you’re saying is release Trump in deep fake porn so he kills himself?

Fortunately I have a radioactive isotope, in my pants. The half-life is 30 seconds, so we need to act quickly.

I have an idea. Cardboard cutout masks.