It’s clearly in retaliation to shut me up about abuse at the facility. It makes zero sense, even the process server thought it was ridiculous.
But I have no money, I couldn’t find a lawyer. So now my life is over basically. I’m barely employable as it is. I have thousands in credit card debt, I have tens of thousands in student loans, and I work a part time job and do gig work.
There is no therapy. There is no lawyer. DO NOT FUCKING SAY “just check a low income program in your area!” THEY DONT FUCKING EXIST. I live in a red state which exists to chew people up like me.
I have zero family support. I have zero friends. I have zero help.
The second I can’t pay rent I’m walking into traffic.
At no point in my life has there been help. I called a crisis line last year, was assaulted and lost my job because they forget to give me paperwork after I got out.
“Help” seems to be platitudes. Help seems to pretend that there is something on the other side, when across my life that “it gets better” hope gets fucking yoinked from me like Lucy with the football.
Why the fuck is saying “no” such a bad thing? My family didn’t care when I got diddled, why would they care if I was in the ground?
I live in a red state which exists to chew people up like me.
Right, so why would you do them the favor of killing yourself? If they want you dead make them work for it! Every day you stay alive is a day that they don’t win.
There’s no reason for you to do anything “the second you can’t pay rent.” Make them make you leave. It’ll buy you time to try and get yourself a vehicle or tent to sleep in. Even though you have no support network now, making friends is weirdly easier in encampments when everyone you meet has similar experiences to what you’re going through.
Don’t focus on things “getting better”, it makes the things which are getting worse more apparent. Even in the most idyllic life things don’t constantly “get better” they just “get different”, if you feel like everything is getting worse that’s a good sign to really “get different”.
If nothing else I’m proud of you for speaking up against the abuse you saw and I’m sorry you’re now getting some first hand experience with it. How you choose to live or not live your life is up to you, but don’t let some fucking bureaucrat pressure you into unlife.
OP provided more details down comments.
Yeah don’t pay any debt. Kepe your money in cash if you can do it safely.
CC is unsecured just ignore it. Let it go into collections.
Sloans get on income driven repayment plan with low income, it can be zero.
Look for a new job.
You are clearly under mental strain and it will be hard. But you need to operate. It is easier to try fix this now them later when it gets worse.
Do the paper work for Sloans ASAP!
You are clearly under mental strain and it will be hard.
That’s the thing. I have been under hellish levels of toxic stress for three years with almost zero support. All the paperwork for things like unemployment or even just applying for jobs is overwhelming. I am thoroughly burned out, I can barely take care of myself.
I understand this and can relate.
You need to understand that unless you help yourself it will get worse.
With that being said, there a limited amout of blood you can get from a stone. But you got two things that need to be done ASAP.
Don’t get overwhelmed and just give up. Smaller tasks in order of importance.
If you are already de facto dismissed. File UI right first. They rely on your making mistakes to deny. File it properly. Stay focused.
Then sloans paper work. It is urgent.
Do both in the AM when your head is fresh. By afternoon you are likely not gonna have the mental capacity. Don’t force it. Try to get rest in non modern way. Get off socials. Go for a walk or and watch some older tv.
Avoid getting sucked into a spiral…
Not a medical advice but nyquil can knock you out when needed. Just make sure you got 8 hours for sleep.
Take all the money you have and move. Abandon the debts and the lease. With absolutely no plan, move to a city with good services and welcoming people. Believe me, there are places with good services, even within red states (I live in a city in a red state where you would find support if you looked for it). Doing all this would be a much better option than walking into traffic.
What is the best blue city to be homeless in
“Best” is a judgment call I can’t make for you. You might search around for LGBTQ-oriented homelessness services in some cities you would consider. Big cities like Denver, Seattle, or New York are going to have pretty good access to programs and shelters, but I can’t speak to details.
DM me. We can make a plan to get you somewhere safe.
There is no therapy. There is no lawyer. DO NOT FUCKING SAY “just check a low income program in your area!” THEY DONT FUCKING EXIST.
Online normies believe in them because it let’s them cope.
Realistically the only people that can get social services in the Us are disabled and single mothers, and even that’s a stretch since these services are not adequate.
As single adult person, you are left to fend for yourself.
If you don’t have family support, that’s gonna be a deep hole to get out of.
Start a crowdfund at least. How much money do you need anyway?
I have 15k in credit card debt. I have 60k in student loans which will start coming out next month and will destroy the limited budget I have. Idk if a lawyer can even help at this point.
I’ve worked hard all of my life. I worked full time in college. I did sex work which I have nightmares about. All I’ve ever wanted is to be able to work a full time job and have enough to live, and it’s just not an option. I’m a tranny in the south, I have no friends, and I might as well be a cockroach for the love and support I’ve gotten my entire life.
If your student loan is federally backed, they have “income based repayment plans” which can go as low as full deferment, $0 a month. Interest still builds, but it’s better than starving.
No way I can even chip that.
It’s wonderful isn’t it? My ex husband said we’d split the 90k in our bank account half way, even had it in fucking text, but the divorce lawyer didn’t want to do shit. “Oh he stopped paying the insurance before you managed to get him to file? Looks like he doesn’t have to pay insurance then!” He kicked me out, emptied my bank account, maxed out my credit cards and everyone’s like “sorry dumbass, you shouldn’t have had any faith in the justice system.”
You can crowd-fund a lawyer maybe. They can’t be all garbage
Has your employer said they are firing you because of this?
Not yet! Don’t officially find out until the 2nd. The waiting is worse.
I really just want to die. There has never been a point in my life where I have been treated with dignity or respect. I was born in a place that didn’t want me, to a family that didn’t want me.
Look into government services. They are there to help
I live in a red state. There are no government services. I have applied.
This is just a moment in time, it will pass and you will still be here. Let it flow past you.
Focus on what’s in front of you, one thing at a time, don’t worry about what you can’t control
No matter what you will be ok
WTF? Is this from a Dollar General sympathy card? Get back on the pulpit!
What is your advice for OP then?
This sounds nice but is an empty platitude that does nothing to help. Comments like these are infuriating for folks facing very real and very significant challenges.
Its not a empty platitude, its a philosophy.
Worst case scenario, you hitchhike and go live in the wilderness as a hermit. Once you accept that you can handle the worst case scenario, everything else is manageable. Lost your job, no problem - find work elsewhere, pick up cans, day labor, busk, etc. Lost your house, no problem - couch surf, sleep rough (its summer in the norther hemisphere), camp, shelters, friend network. Legal issues, your not alone, lots of people survive going through the system.
The point is you can control what you can control, everything else you adapt and overcome, let it roll off your back.
Let me try to express it differently - It’s not that you can get what you want. It’s not that you can control a situation. It’s that it’s ok not to get what you want, it’s ok to not be in control, it’s ok that life isn’t fair. It’s about letting go of attachments to want and desire, and focusing on what you can do with what you have.
You are so fucking delusional. One guy tried to live in the wild with his girlfriend, was found dead. You can’t just run from your problems.
@WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today Well said.
