• Javi@feddit.uk
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      10 days ago

      Somewhat related story; my middle name is Peter, and I had seemingly misheard it, as for the first 6 years of my life I thought my middle name was pizza.

  • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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    10 days ago

    If you want them to remain white, you have to cover them in earth, the father’s make ridges of earth to cover them:

  • Vespair@lemmy.zip
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    10 days ago

    I’ve never understood this meme. Like what did you expect them to look like, and why is this apparently alarming?

    • Donkter@lemmy.world
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      10 days ago

      I expected them to hang off a central stalk. Or perhaps grow like corn, where there’s a more plant-looking plant growing with the asparagus inside it.

  • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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    10 days ago

    if you seen agave and aloe blooming, its because they are in the same orders, thts why thier blooms looks giant asparagus shoots.

    • snooggums@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      Bunched together or with leaves around them was my assumption, not individually like someone just bought some and stuck them in the ground.

      Didn’t know we harvested them as baby plants.

      • TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip
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        11 days ago

        Oh no that’s not even them as babies. That’s like two years in.

        This is baby asparagus. It takes forever to develop to actual asperagus stage.

        • blargh513@sh.itjust.works
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          11 days ago

          It takes several years, many seasons, much sun and rain for such a magnificent vegetable to grow to maturity and be ripe for the harvest.

          Unfortunately it tastes like ass, has the texture of twine and makes your piss stink.

          Vile weed.

          • wabasso@lemmy.ca
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            10 days ago

            I just need to know if you’ve given properly sautéed asparagus in olive oil and garlic a chance. If you’re basing this on mom’s boiled mush you need to give it a second chance.

            Also I personally find it funny when I get to piss stinky piss. Like farts for my dick!

            • blargh513@sh.itjust.works
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              10 days ago

              I tried many ways, my most successful was asparagus with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper and a light dusting of Parmesan cheese. Put it in the broiler until the cheese gets a tan. Finish with a tiny sprinkle of really fancy balsamic vinegar.

              While it was an improvement, the texture was still not something I ever found acceptable.

              Also, if you’re using asparagus for smelly dick jokes, I am willing to withdraw my judgement.

              • wabasso@lemmy.ca
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                10 days ago

                Sweet recipe, I believe I’ve had it that way too. You have indeed stress tested asparagus.

        • shalafi@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          4 years isn’t it? I looked into it back in the 90s, decided hell no. LOL, it was suggested to dig a 4’ deep trench to plant them.

          • TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip
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            11 days ago

            That’s probably right. I think they become recognizable as asperagus around 2 years in. We had some, about two years in when were in a mobile home park. Swapped owners so they hired new lawn keepers… who fucking killed them right when they were almost harvestable god I was so mad.

          • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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            11 days ago

            I’m sorry, I’m still in awe that anyone would hear that asparagus needs two years to grow enough for a viable harvest and still think it’s worth doing

            • Cort@lemmy.world
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              11 days ago

              Well it takes 2 years to grow, but the harvest is in the 3rd year, at least when I’ve done it. It’s a perennial with minimal maintenance aside from weeding & water

      • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        Wait… How do we know that someone didn’t just buy some and stuck them in the ground to make us think that this is how they grow?

  • untorquer@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    So someone bought asparagus from the market, stuck it in the ground, took a picture, and it’s indistinguishable from the real thing?

    Otherwise it’s surely not a shitpost