• pyre@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    hi, i have problems in the most complicated organ in all of existence that I have accumulated for my entire life, complicating it every day for the past 20 years. I’d like you to press the off switch for it please.

    what do you mean there is no switch? WHAT A SCAM

  • MeatPilot@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Completely vulnerable moment

    As a person long overdue to get some mental help. I’ve been really motivated to get myself better since early last year. Had some events happen where I was like, yeah I need to handle my shit.

    I’ll say the process so far is my biggest hurdle. Took ages to get a referral, once I got the referral took ages to get seen. When I finally was seen it was the wrong fit. Now I’m waiting until next week to start again and push for different referrals, all so my insurance covers some of it (maybe).

    Meanwhile I’m doing the best I can, but certainly think about just throwing in the towel and drowning myself in drugs again. Which worked a long time until it really really didn’t work. But the thought of finally getting my foot in the door to spend months and thousands trying to even find a root cause just feels utterly pointless. Also now raw dogging life without anything to dull it but some doctor prescribed sleeping pills is challenging to say the least.

    Still the worst part is explaining the laundry list of my past trauma to strangers just to get them up to speed. Hopefully to help pinpoint where I need to focus my efforts on getting better. Last fellow just had to say “well you made it this far and seem to be doing better than most of my patients”. Essentially call me back when you have a full blown meltdown, because I only deal with extremes. That shit was deflating, sorry for being proactive and trying to get help before I get committed somewhere?

    I’ve spent a really long time keeping my issues in check, I’ve become very good at what to say or not say that is bouncing around my skull. Now that I can’t do it anymore it seems to throw a lot of people for a loop.

    Anyhow feels like some sort of shitty race to see if my mind breaks first or I get help before that happens. Than when I do get to the right step 1 there will be this slow trial and error I need to go through. Which I completely understand is necessary, but it’s not giving me much hope.

    That person on fire is probably like that because the healthcare system just kept dosing it with gasoline before they stepped foot in the office.

    • asteriskeverything@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I’m sorry you are going through that. If you’re unaware psychologytoday.com is a great resource. They let you search based on insurance, specialties, in person/virtual, any preferences one might have, and the professionals also might include info about them maybe even a video. I hope you get the help you have been fighting for soon.

      • MeatPilot@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Thanks, I have gone there and it was helpful.

        I made the mistake the first time by just taking my family doctor’s opinion because I’m newer to the area and have no idea where to start. He sent me to the group who had asshole #1 and I found out afterwards that guy had a lot negative reviews for the same issues I had. The group was ok, but he was the worst and I got placed with him because everyone else was full. I was ignorant and was just desperate to get “somewhere”. Boy was that a mistake.

        Bigger problem I’m finding is there is a very small list for my area. Once I popped in the filter for non-secular it gets barren. I live in a very religious area, I’m not anti-religion. But I am an atheist that doesn’t want to go to someone who tells me to confide in God to heal myself. Been to one of those before, just doesn’t work.

        Essentially I have narrowed it down to two.

  • Ex Nummis@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    If you’ve been burnt to a crisp, even that tiny splash of water can feel like finding an oasis in the desert.

    Thank you for your service.

  • Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Looks like you need a psychologist to put out the fire then go to the therapist to tame any random flare ups.

    I went for years of therapy and they would take the dropper and miss me completely. I don’t know what the fuck I did but this angel dropped out of heaven claiming to be part of my benefits and started checking in on me every week to help orginize my healthcare needs. She got me in therapy, then got me to a psychologist. The psychologist was able to treat me within a few sessions and everything got easier.

    I honestly could never get the therapist part to work, I don’t really need someone to give me advise. I need someone to make me feel sane and stand me back up. I haven’t found that yet.

    As for the angel, she found a new job, passed me off, and the new guy wasn’t as concerned with me.

    I don’t know, really it was the work of that random benefits person that saved me. It’s so overwhelming to have suicidal idealation and constant anxiety/panic attacks and then have to deal with a broken healthcare system. What ever that fuckkng service was I cannot praise it enough.

    • CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      That is so awesome. I love that you called her an angel because that’s what these people are. She might not even know how much of a difference she made for you, she was just doing the right thing because it was the right thing.

  • confusedbytheBasics@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    In my experience therapy is something my therapist and I do together. My therapist isn’t giving me water. The two of us together are finding water that was always there.

  • ickplant@lemmy.worldOP
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    1 year ago

    I should add “as a therapist in the US.” I have a lot of gay and trans clients, and it’s… bleak.

    • frickineh@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I know I should go to therapy but then I feel bad burdening a therapist with things like, “I’m so angry that the only thing that helps me sleep is imagining the entire current administration getting hit by a very localized meteor,” because like, this shit is too big and we all have our coping mechanisms, right? At least mine isn’t substance abuse or self harm.