Ive got the opposite problem of a lot of the comments here. When I go away alone for some time to think about things. When I come back I people genuinely care more than I do.
When people try and ask whats going on i dont want to share anything with them because ive already thought it through and I dont want to think about it anymore and return to my daily routine.
I dont know why this is but whenever i do something that isnt being happy or relaxed or whenever i share any thoughts or feelings that are slightly sad or negative people react like I just told them I’m considering killing myself. Then they get upset and I have to spend time and energy comforting them and reassuring them that I’m fine. So far all my partners have been like this and I’m really hoping this isnt normal because it makes me not want to find another relationship.
Look if I tell you about my impending suicide it’s going to make everything worse for both of us
Would you rather me tell you about the tank of helium and the bag and hoses I bought and then returned, or do you just want to go back to playing cards and getting on with things?
Made the right choice BTW, stay strong.
Exactly. I couldn’t agree more.
When killing yourself the right thing to do is to set it up some piano wire in such a way that you’re able to sever your own head, AFTER supergluing your hands to the side of your head.
Its crucial that you have a friend that’s in on it so that they can remove the piano wire when they “stumble” on to your dead body, and the investigators struggle to figure out how and why your ripped your own head off.
Do me a favor and practice what you preach.
I don’t know if it was strength or not. I fell in love. Went to visit a friend I have known for 20 years but never met in person. Intended for it to be a goodbye. Plan was to go see him, get back home, mail the letters, drive to the ocean, and watch the sea as it happened. Even bought clear bags to make sure I could see it.
Fell in love with him while I was there. Not sure if that’ll work out or not, but it gave me a reason to live. And if it doesn’t work out, it means there might be other reasons to live still out there. I had only ever had the one reason, it was an honest to surprise to find out there could be another.
The key is that you persist. I call it survival or I like to say, despite whatever is going on, “yet I still persist”. Finding new and different reasons to help you maintain this persistence are also very important. Stay here don’t leave. That’s it.
I hope you continue to find new reasons.
i thought i was the only one who thought of that…
<3
Good example.
You deserved better, Lewis. But I’m happy you came back.
I don’t tell people things because they weaponize it against me later. Not handing you knives to stab me with no matter how you frame it.
I think you might need better mates. Unless the things you’re doing is kicking dogs.
if they’re gonna do that why are you hanging out with these people
I never could quite understand how to describe the experience of “clicking” or “meshing” with someone. Now I realize its got to do with the mutual ability to differentiate between communication from an emotional thought and that from a logical thought.
When I’m not clicking with someone they’re probably regularly misattributing and applying the opposed source of communication and acting on it. When someone assigns an emotional thought to the logic bin it feels like backstabbing, like the thought is weaponized against me while I was being vulnerable.
Anyways, that’s why i talk to you as little as possible Steve.
this is the way
The idea that women can’t be just as emotionally unavailable and fucked up as men is laughable. Women are simply forced to pass and simulate the acceptable emotions you want them to have.
This post describes me down to the letter. Friends have issues with it but over time they’ve come to understand it’s just how I am. In men, its stoic. In women, you’re a cold bitch.
Or one can always smile, always laugh, always demure, always dissemble, always hide, always mask, always be emotionally removed.
That sounds tiring, doesn’t wearing that heavy of a mask constantly start itching the soul?
My point is that when women are withdrawn and emotionally unavailable, they are more likely to have been conditioned to present (and perhaps are more capable of presenting) a false face so that those around them are not aware in the first place. And yes, it’s known to be incredibly fatiguing, sometimes to the point where you can’t really do anything else.
What am I supposed to say, that I was abducted and probed and got to hang out with big foot and Michael Jackson before being dropped off in Iowa?
And their Steam profile is like: Factorio 832 hours played 117 hours in the last two weeks
832 hours… What is this kindergarten?
If you don’t have 5,000 hours in factorio, can you even call yourself an engineer?
I’m assuming satisfactory also applies. Any game you might whip out spreadsheets tbh.
What if you’re an engineer who knows about Factorio and also knows a few things about your own psyche, and therefore have 0.0 hours played?
Then you’re a smarter person than I, my friend.
This is why I warn my friends not to play factorio. I’m not strong enough to lead by example, but I can definitely live as a warning.
I kind of want to try it. Especially once we get closer to winter. I could test my ability to still work on some planned indoor tech projects while Factorio is installed on my computer.
I bet I’d pass that test.
… unless preying on such hubris is how the factory gets you! Maybe the real test is knowing the only way to win is to not play at all!
The games are probably a necessary distraction from the bad thing
The bad thing was a different Factorio save-file taking a really dark turn.
THE FACTORY MIST GROW DEPRESSION BE DAMNED
Speech is silver, silence is golden.
Yes. Yes, we do.
I never heard of any man who will go away for hours or days? This is honestly messed up. But the way people talk about this sounds like it’s normal.
My friendships are the kind where we won’t see eachother for six months then hang out like not a day has passed.
I feel like this person is talking about a coworker who didn’t come to work for a few days and doesn’t wanna talk about why. I’ve been this coworker before, so maybe I’m just projecting.
I’m just here for a paycheck, not to share my trauma with coworkers I barely know.
But, but, we’re family here at insert business.
PRODUCTOCORP loves you!
“And you love PRODUCTOCORP! That’s why you are willing to be underpaid.”
Oh I understand now.
I was confused by the post because it made it sound like men do this at home.
Maybe not days, but hours? That’s not really all that weird. Depending on the context, of course. But needing a few hours alone to process something is pretty reasonable imo.
I’ve done it. When I’m emotional I just want to be alone. Being around people doesn’t help at all. Hell I’ve taken a week of PTO just to stay home by myself and not have to talk to anyone.
Maybe because nobody would listen, or care about what he went through.
Or the inverse, that instead of just listening they made it something bigger than it had to be, trying to “fix it” when all he really needed was someone to listen for a few minutes, maybe a lap to lay on, but instead he got a “solution” he never asked for
Or maybe just what OC said… Or sometimes, there’s just no one to “listen” to. Or no “lap to lay on”. Or the laps that exist are so fragile that they would collapse at the weight of just your words. Or sometimes, there’s really something that needs fixing…
maybe a lap to lay on
Couldn’t find the exact right GIF, but The Boys came to mind.
lol I love that show, and homelander has some serious mommy issues, but I’m unsure if you’re suggesting that laying your head on your partner’s lap is strange or some sort of weakness
No, I’m saying it made me think of that scene.
Or the inverse, that instead of just listening they made it something bigger than it had to be…
“Nobody would listen” yet people (not just men) don’t go to therapy where someone’s not only PAID to listen, but to help you challenge those cognitive distortions and apply the skills gained to heal with people that do want to listen without the payment. There’s 8 billion people in the world. It’s simply not true “nobody would listen or care.”
Edit: 7cups.com is free.
I tried 7cups and it was like Paid Premium Ad Vendor Popup Email Signup Money Time Listen Service Exclusive bullshit scheme.
- Not everyone can afford a therapist
- Not all therapists are equal
- Just because there are 8 billion people in the world doesn’t mean there is someone there for you that will genuinely listen to you
But people with your attitude is exactly what I’m talking about.
There are sliding scale agencies, some taking on clients for free. Take care.
Where are those agencies? How do you find them? How can we get motivated to look for them with zero experience in the field, when we can’t even get out of bed in the morning? Take care.
Sure. I gotta pay just to talk to people. Love this society. I think I will just isolate for a bit like the meme says.
This.
Who can afford to have an expert misunderstand them, hour after expensive hour, and all the while risk being labeled instead of helped?
Nah. Now that Medicaid/care is dead, the US is about to see a whole lotta deaths as a result. (Neglect, escapism, etc.)
Fuck these Nazis (in the face with a brick, preferably)
Is there a handy cheat sheet of topics you can’t bring up with your therapist if you want them to maintain confidentiality?
Hmm. Honestly? I’m unsure if promoting that sort of withholding would be moral, despite it seeming wise to be aware of. Generally, anything said pro is required to report on, but that’s merely a technicality and in no way implies a suggestion to hide truth from the law. Ahem.
Therapy is not about talking to people, it’s about helping you be best version of yourself. About helping you help yourself. Instead of continue doing whatever you think you’re doing, with isolation and self harm and constant loathing.
I dont understand how a therapist could help me be a better version of myself? They dont know me and they likely arent any better of a person themselves. I can only imagine its generic self help advice parroted to for hundreds of dollars as hour.
Therapy is only useful for people that need help working through a disorder.
You can get “Lol, grow some!” much cheaper and faster on 4chan. No need for therapy.
You can also punch yourself in the nuts completely for free, but why would you do any of that, it’s the opposite of helping
That’s the point. Therapists don’t help. At best they do nothing, at worst they insult you.
Nobody of the 3 who would listen for free would care
Aaand of course you are not a man.
Can you simply accept that you may not know what other people go through?
You don’t have to be a man to understand the male experience. We’re very vocal about it.
Right?? It’s like a Canadian having an opinion on the USA. Sometimes people can see things in yourself that you cannot.
Besides, the vast, impassible gulf that exists between all sentient minds dwarfs whatever trivial difference gender introduces.
Volunteering armchair psychologist in
.world?Who really wants to know of something someone went through without it being beneficial for the victim? Are you going to commit to a gofundme?
Don’t publish in a vacuum, praxis mental care, for those that really consent.
Brii Ash, wasn’t doing so in insta.
I’m sorry, what?
Therapy is a two way street. The respondent already proved they prefer to hand the hurt & sick to extortionists.
In english, please?
They were Isekaid and turned into a slime that had sex with everything that moved.
But they returned now and don’t want to talk about the orgies. They miss em.
r u me?
everything that moved.
Why limit yourself?
Now I’m angry, I need to punch someone
Y’all made me regret it last time I told you, so…
Confessing your problems to a self-proclaimed mentally unstable redhead seems like a good way to make them worse.
Hey. Hol’up. That’s surprisingly specific. Are you me? That’s been one of my main mistakes throughout the last, oh, say 30 years? 😅🤔
Account name on OP’s meme 🙂
Ohhh. Phew. I mean, it’s one thing to have conversations with internal yous, but external anonymous ones? Heh. Probably not healthy? 🤣
